Here are a few in-the-moment techniques to use in acute suffering or stress, before it becomes overwhelming. I want to encourage you to practice these before you need them as practice doesn’t make perfect, but practice makes permanent. These techniques only serve to help a situation or issue become more manageable, they are not meant to ‘fix’ the issue at hand.

If you’re dealing with chronic or toxic stress - ongoing, persistent, and overwhelming - check out this article for even an even deeper dive into self-care.

Deep breathing

Anxiety manifests as a flight/fight response to stress, raising your heart rate and preparing your body to move. Taking deep breaths and holding them allows your body to absorb oxygen, while also slowing your heart rate down, and has the effect of decreasing the physical symptoms of anxiety. I like to practice deep breathing in 4’s.

1.       Slowly breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, expanding your gut rather than your chest.

2.       Hold your breath in your gut for 4 seconds.

3.       Slowly breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds, as if you are blowing through a straw.

4.       Hold for 4 seconds before slowly breathing in again.

Do this four times in a row.

Often, I will practice ‘breath prayer’ while doing this. I breathe in a truth and hold it in my mind until it takes root in my heart.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a matter of making yourself aware of the present. Using your five senses, pay attention to what is going on around you. For instance, you may want to choose a color and then notice that color in objects around you. Cooking a simple meal and paying attention to the sights, sounds, smells, and taste. Chewing a piece of gum and noticing its flavor as it slowly changes can be helpful. I particularly like breathing (as in the above) and feeling the air come in and move through your body. You will also be able to notice changes in your body as you do so.

Excercise: Sit still and try to blank out your thoughts. Now, starting with your toes, pay attention to what they feel like as they touch the floor. Now the balls of your feet, then arches, then heels, then ankles and so on. What do your clothes feel like on your body? How do your hands feel as they lay on the arms of your chair? What does your hair feel like as it sits on your head? Take the time to work up your body from your feet to your head, and then back down if necessary.

Grounding

The work of becoming grounded is to become centered in this moment, in the here-and-now. Stress can sometimes trigger a response grounded in trauma, which puts our body and mind in the there-and-then. Your goal here is to get back to now.

Excercise: Take a few moments to calm your body (breathing) and then recognizing the following around you.
5 things you see (notice differences of color, shape, size, etc)
4 things you hear (from things inside your body like your heartbeat or breath, to things outside like a clock or lawnmower)
3 things you feel physically (temperature, clothes on your skin, breeze, warmth of the sun, etc.)
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste

Serenity Prayer

This is my go-to in times of feeling overwhelmed. I often list out all that I am not in control of as I pray.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Or as a friend of mine says, ‘and the wisdom to know it’s me’

The full prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr is worth your time to look up and utilize as well.

Containment

If there is a particular thought or event that is intrusive, you may find it helpful to practice ‘containing’ it in something. You may do this literally, by writing it on paper and locking it in a safe or filing cabinet for instance, or you may do this metaphorically, by imagining yourself taking that thought and putting it in a proper container. Remind yourself that you can come back to this later, as needed.

Journaling

I find journaling to be helpful at all times, but particularly as I find myself overwhelmed. Through journaling you are giving your mind the opportunity to put things together. As you write, your brain can communicate across hemispheres, helping your logical thoughts to join up with your emotional experiences, resulting in a greater sense of clarity about what is actually stressing you out or causing you to feel a certain way. Instead of simply reporting what is happening around you, think about yourself investigating what is happening inside you.

Here are a few simple prompts you may find helpful:

Because ______ / I think _________ / I feel ____________ / I want _____________ /
I accept ____________ / I release __________ / I am grateful for ___________

Timeout

It takes your brain and body about 20 minutes of doing something else to flush out all the chemicals that were induced by stress. During this time, I would encourage you to drink a pint of water, as dehydration can often look like anxiety. You need to be doing something that is relatively distracting, but not taxing (like Twitter). For instance, I like to shoot hoops when I get a chance as it takes my mind off what was stressing me, but is not so overwhelming that I become absorbed in it or triggered by it. Some other ideas are taking a walk, reading an article, drawing/coloring a picture, watching a show, cleaning dishes/laundry, cooking a meal, playing or listening to music and so on. Make a list of 4-5 things you can do when necessary.

A google search of ‘mindfulness techniques’ will yield a lot of results. Try out a few things from this list, or search for more techniques in the category you prefer. Just because it doesn’t work the first time, doesn’t mean it will never work. Practice makes permanent, not perfect.